This is the kind of thing that is getting a lot harder before there is any glimpse of getting better.  My classes are a constant reminder of dad.  Every other item I ring up at work I can somehow work back to dad.  The leaves turning...my music, Dayze, being at moms house...everything is a constant reminder he isn't here.

When my parents decided to go on finish from Wycliffe, we went back home in the summer to sell the house and pack up and we flew back in October.  As we flew back into America, the leaves were turning and my dad would constantly say, "Have I ever told you?"  Which was meant, "Have I ever told you that fall is my favorite time of year?"  He continued this until the end.  Every fall it was... "Have I ever told you?"  And then my response, "No dad, you haven't". 

Last summer, like every summer of the past 6 years, my bestie Cari and I went to see Dave Matthews Band,  Last year it was in Chicago at Wrigley Field.  I must have sent my dad a dozen pictures of Chicago and the concert. DMB decided to make the concert we were at a live cd.  Cari had pre-ordered us the cd and I was ssoooo excited!  I told my dad and couldn't wait to share it with him.   We never got a chance to listen to it together.  Dad knew my passion for DMB.  He even downloaded the DMB app on his iPod Touch for me.  We came over for dinner one night and he handed me the iPod with the DMB app pulled up and said, "Got you something".  He loved the saxophonist of DMB and I loved sharing the music with him.

About 4 1/2 years ago I had told my parents that Brandon and I were considering getting a dog.  My mom was not okay with the idea and let me know about it.  Well, that didn't stop with falling in love with Dayze the first time I set eyes on her and then twisting Brandon's arm into letting her stay at his place.  The day after we got her, I took her over to my parents house.  My mom wasn't home but my dad was.  I called him and told him to come outside.  He came out and took one look at Dayze and started laughing.  The grass was taller than her and the tiniest collar I could find was still too big for her.  She didn't even weigh a pound.  But dad loved her.  Dayze is not a fan of men.  In fact she hates any strange man with a passion.  But Dayze and her Papaw Bill, they were amazing together.  Even when he was sick, she would stay on his lap and wouldn't want to be anywhere else. 

I completely and fully understand why they call it a broken heart.