We just don't know...

Tonight my dad was able to leave the hospital.  Things are still up in the air for everything.  I don't think my parents have had much time to even think what the next step is with all the visitors, phone calls, nurses in and out.  My poor padre would just fall asleep and it would never fail for someone to come in poking and prodding at him.  My dad mentioned that the only way to get a doctor to come see him was to fall asleep.

My parents wanted to tell their brothers and sisters the news before everyone else.  But because there are 5 on my mothers and 2 on my dads and the emotional weight that comes with breaking this kind of new, it has gone slow.

Like I wrote in my last post, wedding bells have rung.  It's in both my bucket list and my dads for him to walk me down the isle.

We found out Friday he didn't have much time here on earth with us so that night Brandon and I did a lot of crying (I did all of it really) and talking about "our" furture.  I had already made up my mind since the 10th that if we did find out my dad didn't have long, we would move fast on the wedding.  But...I hadn't told Brandon.  I kept it to myself because I didn't want to speak the words unless I had too.  And...I did.  So I asked Brandon and he was all for it.

We found out "the news" on Friday night and I knew I had to open at work on Saturday.  It was past closing time Friday when we found out but I was able to let them know I was not going to be in for my shift Saturday.  I knew I wasn't gonna be able to concentrate or even stop crying and no one wants a cashier checking them out who can't stop balling.  So Saturday I woke up and cried myself awake.  I took a shower and yelled at God.  My poor loofah and shower wall got a good beating. 

After getting ready for the day, Brandon and I headed to the mall.  Being a girl, I had a idea in my head of a possible engagment ring.  A amythest and square cut.  We found one I like at the Glenbrook mall so we headed there.  I looked to see if it was still there and then I decided to look at the other two jewlery places right next door.  We got to the second one and were sold.

I found one I like better than the first and the price was right.  We had told the seller that this was intended to be my engagement ring and what could we do about a wedding band.  He took us to another case and had the perfect fit!  So we bought them and took them straight to the hospital.  My brother Benji, and his wife Toni, had come down from Elkhart, IN to spend the day with us.  After making our entrance, we mentioned what we had done earlier that day.

I saw my daddie cry for the 6th time in my life.

Since Brandon had not asked me yet, I wasn't wearing it but we took them out and my daddie assured me with tears in his eyes that it would look lovely on my finger.  Both my parents were tearing up but my mom was screaming AND crying.  It was a great time and memory.

When my brother and sister-in-law were there at the hospital we had lots of visitors.  We (Brandon and I) were kinda on the sidelines of the room.  Everyone was talking and not paying attention to us so I wanted to look at the ring again.  Brandon took it from me and asked, put in my finger and their it has remained since 3pm Saturday afternoon.

TADA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NO IDEA when or where or anything for that matter.  We know were getting married before the Lord takes my daddie and that is about it.

We are waiting on some more tests to be done which will give us a better idea of a time line.  With the kidneys being what they are we might have to move as fast as within the next couple weeks.  Hopefully daddie will be strong enough make it till May so I won't have to get married and be in school at the same time but we just don't know yet. 

It's such a tough thing.  As a wise man once said, "You have to go through it.  You can not go around it, above it, under it, you have to go thought it".  -Jimmy O'Donnell. 

And that's what I'm going to try to do.  Key word: TRY.