I was doing the nightly cleaning at work last night and started to tear up as I became more aware of the Christmas music that was playing. My dad usually sang in the Christmas Eve choir. I haven't been able to go for the past 4 years because of work but this year I asked to have the early shift on Christmas Eve even though it will probably mean working 8-5 since we close at 6 Christmas Eve, but I hope to be able to make it to College Park Church in time on Christmas Eve to be there with my mom.
It's getting harder and harder to realize that life will go on without him. It's sound weird but I don't want to be okay with going on with life. I don't want it to become easier. I don't want to be okay that I can survive without him.
My heart continues to ache just as much as April 21st if not more.
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